


Remember

by EvertheOptimistWaywardAF



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cas was taken by the empty but he's back, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Character Undeath, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, India, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27157661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF/pseuds/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF
Summary: Team Free Will saved the world at a steep cost. Several years have passed since Cas died, and Dean is looking back on his life. He is determined to finally face the truth- until a random lead takes him halfway across the world and back to the person he thought he'd lost.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, saileen
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

When Dean was four, he didn’t speak. When he finally entered kindergarten, dropped off by a begrudging John, nobody wanted to be his friend. He sat on the floor, staring at the blocks in front of him, while all the other kids learned to paint and color and add. It’s not that he couldn’t talk, but he didn’t want to. In the first grade, he was taken out of class to a separate room for “late bloomers”, where he was supposed to learn how to read. He couldn’t form the words in his mouth. He had already been in five schools and nobody knew where he was at. He got angry. The words and numbers upset him, and he had nobody at home to support him. He was on his own. In the third grade, the bullying had gotten terrible. Dean could talk now. He knew how to form the words but he still struggled. He still didn’t want to speak. He still had no support. When he fell running away from a bully, the teacher spoke to John. He seemed understanding, but when they got back to the dirty motel room, John yelled at him for not fighting back. 

By the fifth grade, Dean had created a persona. He was now helping Sam with school work, and Sam was quickly surpassing him. Dean liked to leave him, to get rid of Sam for at least an hour or two. Just to be away from him. To feel like he had something beyond Sam. He started flirting with girls, following the movies he had been taught by. The hours he had spent in front of the TV staring at old westerns paid off, and his persona helped him avoid bullying for the most part. He knew he wasn’t strong, but he could pretend to be. Sam, however, was strong. Dean pushed Sam away more and more as Sam got older. Sam was like a better version of Dean, and Dean knew well which kid John preferred. Sam was like a vision of Mary- kind, smart, courageous. Dean only thought of himself as a Sam-guard. He was the dumber older brother. His only use was to be a protector. 

Dean was constantly impressed by his brother. Sam wasn't afraid to fight with John, to give him a piece of his mind. Dean always was. Perhaps it was because if Dean fought John, Dean got hurt. If Sam fought John, Dean got hurt. Sam was always the favorite. The day Sam left for college was both the worst and best day of Dean's life. After John had finished cussing him out, Dean sat alone, his knees to his chest, breathing slowly. He began to cry. He hadn't cried in so long. It turned into a laughter that sounded unnatural to his ears even though it had come from his own chest- Sam had left. Maybe John would finally love him. 

"Hey, Dean, the salt?" Sam asked. He raised his hand, the other one deep in a duffle bag. Silver strands sparkled in Sam's hair. Dean tossed the container and Sam caught it without looking up and shoved it inside his bag. Sam looked up, his bright multicolored eyes scanning Dean's face. "What's on your mind?"

"Oh. Um," Dean sighed. "I'm just thinking. About dad."

"Oh," Sam said. Light lines appeared on his forehead, his eyes weary. "You seem... sad."

"I'm always sad about something," Dean said. He looking into his own duffle bag. A photo sat inside, half covered with clothes and jerky wrappers. A woman and a boy. She had wavy blonde hair and a look of being lost, like she had just woken up from a long nap. Under her arm was a caramel haired boy, one eye covered with his bangs, an awkward smile on his face. Mary and Jack. The last time Dean had seen Jack, the kid had been sitting on a hospital bed, his hands cupped around a hot chocolate. Dean blinked the memory from his eyes. 

"I miss her too," Sam said. Dean jolted. He had forgotten that Sam was there. 

"I know." Dean said. He zipped up the bag and walked out the door. Another successful hunt. They arrived back in Lebanon late at night. The Bunker was empty. "Well..."

"Well." Sam sighed. "See you soon. Thanks for hunting with me." 

"No problem," Dean said. Sam turned his back to Dean, staring into the Bunker. 

"You can stay here if you'd like. Usually I'd go back home, but Eileen and the kids are in Florida..." 

"There are too many memories here," Dean sighed. "You've been taking care of baby, right?"

"Of course," Sam smiled. Dean nodded. 

"Okay. Uh... see you soon, Sam."

"I love you, Dean." 

"I love you too, Sammy." 

Dean got a motel room. He laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling. The nightmares had come back in full swing recently. It was too heavy. It was too much. When the sun rose the next morning, he got up and took a shower, then got back in the car. He hadn't fully decided what to do when he arrived in the parking lot. He stared at the glass doors. It was a sunny day, snow freckled across the ground. Dean practiced his breathing. It always helped to practice breathing. He got out, and shut the door. He walked, blindly, to the front desk. He had a sudden urge to turn around and go back to the car, but it was too late. The woman at the desk smiled up at him, wearing lavender scrubs, her hair pulled back into a loose bun. 

"Checking in or checking on?"

"I'm here to see somebody," Dean said. The woman smiled. 

"Alright, fill out this form please," The woman said. Dean sat down. Nearby there was a woman sitting alone, a backpack over her legs, frowning into her lap at the clipboard. He handed his own board back to the woman at the desk and she smiled. 

"Oh, they haven't got visitors in a while," She said. "You're the step dad?" 

"Yeah," Dean said. "I... I'm sorry, I've been on the road." 

"That's alright. It's nice to see that somebody is here."

"Sam hasn't been visiting?"

"He's been by," The woman said. "Some others too. I believe Jack's friend, Kaia, came a few months ago, and that was the last outside visit." 

"Oh," Dean said. He didn't want to talk anymore. 

"Just down the hallway to the left," The woman smiled. Dean nodded and walked to the door. He stood there, and breathed in and out before opening the door. Jack hadn't changed much. He lost some weight since Dean had last seen him, and his hair had grown out a bit, but otherwise Jack was his usual self. At the sound of the door, Jack looked up and smiled. 

"I missed you," Jack said, setting down his sketchbook to hug Dean. Almost instinctually, Dean touched the back of Jack's head with his palm. It was like Jack had never left. Dean sat down in an extra chair. 

"They really upgraded you," Dean said, gesturing to the large windows. Jack smiled. 

"I think the staff likes me," Jack said. 

"You feeling better?"

"Yeah," Jack said. 

"You know, they're gonna let you back out soon," Dean said. Jack nodded. 

"I like it here," He said. "But I'll be happy to be on my own again. When I get out, I'm gonna find Uncle Michael. Figure out what's going on with Heaven. You know, hunter things." 

"What about Cas?" Dean said. There was a sudden drop in temperature in the room. 

"Cas..." Jack said softly, looking out the window. Dean noticed the sudden ice crystals forming on the glass. 

"Your magic-"

"Oh," Jack shook his head. The crystals vanished and the room returned to a normal temperature. Dean looked at Jack nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm getting better. I just..."

"No, you're doing great," Dean said. "As long as there are no magically induced super storms, it's a win-win."

"I almost leveled Quebec," Jack said. 

"Yeah, well, it's Canada so they deserve it." 

"Dean!" 

"Hey, there's the old Jack I knew," Dean smiled. Jack hit him playfully. "I'm glad you feel better." 

"The question is... how do you feel, Dean?" 

"I'm fine. I'll live." 

"You haven't been sleeping."

"Hey, we banned mind reading unless given consent."

"I didn't read your mind. I can tell. I know you miss Cas as much as I do. In a different way, but I know how much you loved him."

"It's in the past. It's all in the past, and we're all moving forward. Sammy's got a family. I'm doing my own thing. You're being the brave little warrior you've always been. It's all okay now." 

"The past isn't about what happened yesterday. The past leaves an impact on you, forever."

"Your mom teach you that?"

"You taught me that," Jack said. Dean sighed. "Hey, you should check out this blog I was reading before I signed in. It's in another language but I just click translate and it kinda works. It's for international people to discuss the paranormal, so maybe you can take a trip somewhere else. It's called... uh... like Vilakhaṇaśikārī.blog.ia."

"Villa-khan-ah-what?"

"I'll write it down. I think it's really cool that there are other people out there... other hunters... doing the same stuff all the way across the planet!" Jack said. He handed Dean the scrap of paper. "You know, you could totally do a vacation."

"I don't do vacations," Dean said. Jack made a pouting face. 

"Think of it like this. Hunting- in an all new terrain- with all new hunters- far away from the past. Saving people..."

"Don't you dare."

"Hunting things..." 

"Jack, I'm warning you." 

"The family business," Jack said. 

"Fine. I'll look at the blog. That doesn't mean I'm going international." 

"Now that there's nothing to do... no big end of the world plans... nothing pushing us for time... you can go anywhere you want. Solve any mystery. It's all up to you." 

"I should wait until you're out of here."

"No, it's okay. Call me if you go, and I'll try to catch up."

"Okay." 

"Ahh I'm so excited," Jack said happily. There was a knock at the door. Dean sighed. 

"Keep feeling better, kiddo."

"I will. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

Vilakhaṇaśikārī.blog.ia 

Password: Se2fnn2njssdeh2

Posts from today

ਹੈਲੋ, ਮੈਂ ਅੱਜ ਭੂਤ ਬਾਰੇ ਇਕ ਕਹਾਣੀ ਦੇ ਨਾਲ ਹਾਂ. ਉਹ ਚੰਗਾ ਕਰਨ ਵਾਲਾ ਵਿਅਕਤੀ ਹੈ ਅਤੇ ਆਪਣੇ ਹੱਥ ਨਾਲ ਛੂਹ ਸਕਦਾ ਹੈ ਤਾਂ ਜੋ ਸਾਰੀਆਂ ਸੱਟਾਂ ਦੂਰ ਹੋ ਜਾਣ. ਜਦੋਂ ਮੈਂ ਤਸਵੀਰ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹਾਂ, ਉਹ ਅਲੋਪ ਹੋ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ! vi ḌīnaPhrīka  
[Translate]

DinaPhrika: He, here today with legend about ghost. He is doctor and touch with his hand all wounds. When I take picture, it disappears!

"Well, Jack was right about this translator being sketchy," Dean muttered. 

GingerTree31: Camera phone?  
Roseb2oP: Details? I no evidence  
2spoopy333: Emmanuel   
DinaPhrika: @2spoopy333 Yes?! You have see him also?  
2spoopy333: I seen him   
2spoopy333: American, dark hair  
DinaPhrika: Yes! He is dark hair   
2spoopy333: He name Emmanuel 

Dean froze. He reached for the keyboard. Slowly he typed out a response. 

SaucyImpala67: @DinaPhrika @2spoopy333 Where did you see him? Trenchcoat?

...   
2spoopy333: @SaucyImpala67 He name Emmanuel Allen. Yes, he wear many coat.  
2spoopy333: Patna, Bihar, India. He travel many places. I do not know where he is recently. I saw him week last.  
2spoopy333: Not ghost, maybe he god? No hunt, not monsters. He has extreme polite, he speak good with accent.  
SaucyImpala67: Do you know how I can track him?   
2spoopy333: He friend with IMOL, Men of Letters. They headquaters of New Delhi. I give you address.

Dean felt his head spin. Emmanuel Allen... last week... in India. The amount of luck he had that Jack had pushed him in the right direction... just to immediately find some sign... of Cas. Dean reached for his phone, but he stopped before he picked it up. He couldn't tell Jack. It would be too painful if it was a different person, if it was just somebody using Cas's name. If it was a trap... but how would Jack be involved in that? Jack wouldn't know about this post. He had been in the mental health center since June. 

Dean stood up. Slowly but surely he reached for his coat, and then his bag. He wasn't going to tell Sam. There was no way he could make Sam go through something like this again. Dean had to go alone. He had to figure out who or what was pretending to be Cas. And if it was Cas, he had to bring him home. 

The plane ride was long. Dean still hated to fly but his mind was on other things. He was thinking about Cas, about Jack, about Sam... and Eileen, and everything that was racing through his mind at the moment. And his father. It had been a while since Dean had been so focused on his father. Not racing to save the world gave him too much time to think. 

Come to think of it, Dean had only ever once been out of North America. This was his second time. He followed the signs in the airport, following where the rest of the people getting off the plane were going. He caught a taxi and gave them the location that he had gotten from the blog. He felt his heart race as he arrived at the Men of Letters' base and walked into the reception hall. It was gorgeous, and very old. The place had been reclaimed after the British occupation had ended, and now it held the Indian Men of Letters organization, which operated very much like their United States counterpart. Dean didn't look around much. He had a goal. 

"Hey, do you know where I can find Emmanuel Allen?"


End file.
